So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
