I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
