Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
