It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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