I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
