Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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