Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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