toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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