what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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