Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
