we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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