So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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