i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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