absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
