ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
