he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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