I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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