did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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