I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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