I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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