i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
