those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
