I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
