Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
