She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
