Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize