some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
