My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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