I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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