remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
