What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Randomize
