there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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