I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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