I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
