he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
