High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize