super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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