Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
