Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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