is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
