He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
