is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize