ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize