Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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