i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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