Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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