just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
