I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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