even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
