well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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