She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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