I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
