so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
