Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
