omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
