I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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