just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
