**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
