You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Found your dick twin last night
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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