my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
