We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I need a beard to bite.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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