My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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