Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
