I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
