Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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